Win! Mass Effect Normandy Replica Contest!

You could win one of two Mass Effect Alliance Normandy SR-2 Replica Ships! This is officially endorsed as Commander Shepard’s favourite contest on the Citadel.

All you have to do to answer the question below. The funniest or best answer will win the top prize (one of the ships with an inflatable Omni-Blade). The second best entry will also win a replica ship.

Please note these are replica ships and as such are NOT life-sized or capable of actual space travel. They will look pretty damn awesome on your gaming shelf though!

Question: In your fight to save the Earth, name your ideal four crew members (picking one in each category) to join your Normandy from the following options:

• A fictional animated character

• A character from any other BioWare game

• A Star Wars character*

• A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

Additional credit will go to those with funny brief explanations of why these crew members would work well together.

Rules and Regulations

*Picking Jar Jar Binks will result in automatic disqualification. All entries must be in by 12 noon (GMT) on Sunday March 11th. Any entries after this time will not be considered for prizes. The winners will be announced on this thread shortly afterward. Multiple entries are permitted but only one prize will be given to any one individual. As always, my decision is final … unless I change my mind.

Note that you will need to provide a postal address for this prize to be delivered. Be warned that if prizes remain unclaimed for more than 28 days they may be offered as prizes in new competitions thereafter.


If you are not lucky enough to win your own Normandy, they can be purchased in the UK for £29.99 from Forbidden Planet and purchased from Dark Horse in the US. The prizes were kindly supplied by Tully Ackland, UK Community Coordinator at BioWare.

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  1. blaze9026

    A fictional animated character
    A character from any other BioWare game
    A Star Wars character
    Ig 88
    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Smelly Pirate

  2. AIM: Save the Earth

    PRE-REQUISITES: Four crew members, one from each category

    SHIP: Normandy

    CAPTAIN: Joanna Shepard [My Shep]


    • A fictional animated character

    Aayla Secura – [Star Wars: The Clone Wars, incidentally voiced by Jennifer Hale]

    • A character from any other BioWare game

    The Jedi Exile – [Knights of the Old Republic, the most awesome female in the Star Wars universe]

    • A Star Wars character

    Stass Allie – [Star Wars Ep. II and III, Jedi Council member]

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

    Yoshifett – obviously


    1. All Jedi – even Yosh.

    2. The Star Wars characters know what it is like to be in an intergalactic war.

    3. Never has a team like this had more girl power – besides the Spice Girls – sorry Yosh. 

  3. vs53

    A fictional animated character
    Wile E. Coyote Cant be killed and never gives up
    A character from any other BioWare game
    Morrigan Always know another way to win
    A Star Wars character
    Yoda Force power god ( Not episode 123 Yoda I am looking at you Yoshifett )
    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Rothbart Keeps everyone on task mostly. Can always comes up with an agenda(sometimes
    even color coated) to get things done.

  4. Chuck-Lee-Campbell

    Fictional Animated Character:

    – Mugen: doesn’z give a f*** about anything except when you f**** with him, he’ll f**** you up if you f*** with him. Plus he’s a really good swordfighter.

    A character from any Bioware game:

    – Morrigan: her personality, skills in handling magic and her ass make for a perfect package.

    Star Wars character:

    – Darth Revan: only the most powerfull force sensitive person in the galaxy PS: he might have been the Emperor

    BRB member:

    – Jitterbug: water core. That is all.

  5. spikeychris

    • A fictional animated character

    Graveheart from the cartoon shadow raiders – Very good cartoon from when I was younger.

    • A character from any other BioWare game

    Max from MDK2 – who doesn’t want a 6 legged dog?

    • A Star Wars character*

    Salacious B. Crumb – just for having such an awesome name

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

    Frawlz – we need some form of cannon fodder afterall.

  6. Athena

    A fictional animated character: Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke, because he is stronger than the average human due to his curse.

    A character from any other BioWare game: Alistair from Dragon Age: Origins, because he is strong, witty, humourous, and has a heart in the right place.

    A Star Wars character: HK-47 from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, because he won’t hestitate to kill to obtain his goal, and because he’s very humourous.

    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff: Dan, because he is British, he has good logical reasoning, good writing and you can trust him to do the right thing.

  7. richieboy

    Fictional Animated character: Kenny McCormack. He shall wear a red tunic on all away-missions.

    Bioware character: Shale (Dragon Age). His constant positive atitude will pull the team together in times of strife.

    Star Wars character: Adimral Akbar. Not only does he look a bit like Mordin Solus, but he also provides xcellent trap-detection.

    BRB staff-member: Jon. He shall be chief engineer and provide updates on whether or not the Normandy can or can not “take much more o’ this cap’n.”

  8. Demra

    Animated character:

    The giant chicken on Family guy, He can hold his own in a fight and I doubt the reapers would want anything to do with his coupons.

    Bioware game:

    Have to go with Varric, even if our victory is mundane we will turn it into an epic that will last hundreds of asari lifetimes.


    Anakin Skywalker, to be the one that doesn’t make it.

    BRB cast:

    Yoshifett his overwhelming hipsterness will render them uncool enough to wipe out the entire galaxy, and his ability to link everything to starwars will ensure Hayden Christensen’s demise.

  9. destruxion

    Animated Character:

    Buzz Lightyear. Why? He’s Buzz Friggin Lightyear! The size of his chin alone is enough to stop the evil plans of Zurg, and he has an awesome Laser on his wrist and a jetpack.

    Bioware Character:

    Canderous Ordo would be my choice. He has the leadership qualities and fighting abilities needed to allow the success of our mission to end the Reapers. Also the Mandalorian backup would be great.

    Star Wars Character:

    Boba Fett. Another Mandalorian who was unmatched in combat until a freak accident allowed his demise, and even then he was not finished (read the Expanded Universe, haters). Boba Fett was the only person who could match Darth Vader’s level of Bada$$ and could make demands of the Dark Lord himself. Having him at my back would be nigh on unstoppable.

    BRB Crew:

    Dogsdieinhotcars ability to bore almost any creature to death with his long explanation of clerics and their different attributes, along with his extensive knowledge of computer building and even more his MMO-based vocabulary would be the proverbial straw that broke the camels back of the reapers. I also think that completing his loyalty quest would be an interesting endeavor. Mormon-based side quests and clerical humor would be integral to his character, making him the most diverse character in the Mass Effect universe.

    This crew, as you will know after reading it, would be the deepest and most powerful crew to traverse the galaxy, and I would be unstoppable.

  10. JaffaKira

    Animated Character:
    Batman, because at least someone on this squad needs to be prepared.

    Bioware Character:
    Jabba the Mutt (aka my Bloodhound in Dragon Age) Wouldn’t even need a loyalty mission, he’s THAT loyal.

    Star Wars Character:
    Vader. needs no explanation

    BRB Crew:
    Dan, because I’m British and therefore need someone to drink tea with and call people “mate” and the like.

  11. Sly25

    • A fictional animated character
    Alucard from Hellsing, unstoppable bad ass vampire
    • A character from any other BioWare game
    My Fem Shep of course her name is Ranga a red haired, cold hearted bad ass ready to F shiz up
    • A Star Wars character*
    Darth Maul, should have been unstoppable but was still bad ass
    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Frawlz – toxic gas attack super effective on anything

    We shall conquer the earth and i wil-… What save? Well i guess if we have all the aliens down on earth and hit the earth with a frawlz gas attack… i guess you could say you saved the earth from the aliens but there wont be anything left. Either way the earth is still going to die by the hand of Frawlz fart especially if the aliens scare him. WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!!!

  12. WigityWhat

    ANIMATED CHARACTER: Patrick Star on the bass.

    BIOWARE CHARACTER: Sonic the Hedgehog on guitar. (From Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood)

    STAR WARS CHARACTER: Max Rebo on the keyboard.

    BRB CREW MEMBER: DogsDie on the mic.

    With my team assembled and myself on the drums. We would not harm a single Reaper with violence. Instead we will use the power of music to save the universe and to defeat the Reapers.

    P.S. We would solely do covers of songs by Huey Lewis and The News.

  13. CaptnDudeMan

    fictional animated character: Oleg from Saints Row: The Third…he’d be the muscle

    BioWare character: T3-M4 from Knights of the Old Republic…might have to hack something

    Star Wars Character: HK-47 from Knights of the Old Republic…one shot, one kill

    BRB staff member: Dave…you can never have too many guns

  14. zero_requiem

    Animated Character/Machinima (please tell me we are including Machinima): I’m going with Agent Texas from Red versus Blue. Anyone who has seen the show knows that with Tex on your team, the fight is already decided.

    Bioware Character: Flemeth. Who doesn’t want the original Witch of the Kocari Wilds watching their back?

    Star Wars Character: R2-D2. I want a good logistics and hacker to help maintain my ship and my equipment.

    BRB Staff Member: Jitterbug. I want someone that can critically analyze my mission and point out every hole in my plans or other ideas. And someone that is knowledgeable about Star Wars and call on the mighty power of Force Rant to help us in battle.

    • not really cause there was that thing that the closer tex got to success only to fail big time thing cause thats how she was made
      but she is still BA

      • zero_requiem in reply to Sly25

        Technically you are in fact correct. She is engineered to fail but for the most part she would be great for the team. I was going to go with The Meta but I like Tex’s personality better.

  15. • A fictional animated character – Samurai Jack. Nobody remembers Samurai Jack, but I do. His skill with a sword is unmatched and he will slice the enemy with his blade of intense SAMURAI JUSTICE. Loyalty mission? Defeat Aku…mainly because he never got a chance to do it in the show. I mean really. WHAT’S UP WITH THAT!?

    • A character from any other BioWare game – HK-47, who also doubles up as a Star Wars character…so I get two SUCKERS! I mean, what about HK-47 isn’t endearing? He’s a human hating, smart talking, shoot first, ask later, tough as nails droid. And he’s loyal to you.

    • A Star Wars character – Han Solo – Because when you’re that efficient with a blaster, you need to be on a squad that is shooting things. And really, how fast can the Normandy complete the Kessel Run? In MORE than 12 parsecs, I’ll tell you that much.

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff – Yoshifett. If there were anyone on staff who’s sheer hipster attack power could bring down fleets of Reapers, it would be Yoshifett. That and I love him.

  16. cog2k

    • A fictional animated character
    Bender from Futurama for all the Normandy’s bending needs

    • A character from any other BioWare game
    Dr. Eggman from Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood to work in the Normandy’s lab

    • A Star Wars character*
    Yoda to use the force against all BIotics

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Frawlz so that he may actually succeed at romancing Amy from the Internet

  17. MTaylo050

    1. My fictional Character would have to be He-Man. He would take people off guard. At first everyone would be like “oh a big guy wearing a tight pink shirt” and then all the sudden BAM “By the Power of Greyskull” and then you have a super strength sword wielding diamond crushing speedo wearing super hero. No one would suspect a thing.

    2. Bastilla Shan from KotOR. Her battle meditation would be the perfect thing to fend of the Reapers in an all out war for the universe.

    3. Jar Jar Binks. Now before you laugh let me explain myself. I’m not picking Jar Jar because he would be helpfull, I’m picking him because he would die, quickly, and we would be rid of him once and for all. I mean, technically we only get 3 characters in our Mass Effect party anyway, so I would stick with my other 3 options!

    4. I’m going to have to go with Dave on this one, he seems to have a lot of guns, and I thinks guns would be good to have when you’re going to war.

  18. Swift

    • A fictional animated character – Black Jesus (From family guy) just cause… he breaks the coolness meter xD

    • A character from any other BioWare game, Joker from Mass Effect! mainly because he’s constantly friendly throughout the Mass Effect trilogy and deserve some credit for his work, instead of Shepherds dick’ish reply options xD

    • A Star Wars character* Jango Fett, he’s the ultimate bad-ass and also has his own ship, I was one of the few that actually loved the PS2 game dedicated to him x]

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff – Jon brady (faeces) < Old SGUK xD, He would be on the Normandy so he could finally be in a place where he wouldn't get consistently bullied every Podcast by Dan and Tim, which don't get me wrong, is most likely justified by his awful sense of humour 😛

  19. Fictional Character: Goofy. He kicked ass in Kingdom Hearts

    BioWare Character: HK-47 from KotOR

    Star Wars Character: The Son

    BRB Staff: Dan, the former captain of the Average Army.

  20. Robert

    • A fictional animated character
    Batman. I’d assume he’s need his own batcave on board but for his skill set its worth it.
    • A character from any other BioWare game
    Shale. I wonder if he hates aliens as much as he hates humans.
    • A Star Wars character*
    Han Solo. Best pilot in any galaxy and he’ll shoot first shortening the dialog sequences.
    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Tim for running the giveaway!

  21. Fisherman

    Not entering this one as I already have one of these babies, but as noted before, it is bad ass. A prize well-worth winning.

  22. Dekester

    Fictional Animated Character : Soundwave and the cassetticons (Did they ever really give them a name?). Laserbeak, Ravage etc would be handy for external repairs on the Normandy, and Soundwave would just have to read all my emails to me because is voice is awesome.

    Character from a Bioware Game : Minsc and Boo from the Baldur’s Gate series. Minsc for his comic relief and solar reflective scalp, and Boo the space hamster for his natural “synergy” with Frawlz.

    Star Wars Character : R2-D2. I’m sure we could retrofit him with a little seat to help Joker get around, plus EDI needs her data-ports filled like nobody’s business. He and Soundwave were frat brothers, so they’d get along fine.

    BRB Staff : Frawlz. His skills in telecommunications as well as personal relations would make him an ideal communications officer, plus we could use his toilet “jettisons” as extra ordinance to defend the

  23. Longfoehammer

    • A fictional animated character
    A cylon

    • A character from any other BioWare game

    • A Star Wars character*

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

  24. Cory

    Fisherman said

    Not entering this one as I already have one of these babies, but as noted before, it is bad ass. A prize well-worth winning.


    I’m pretty sure being a co-host on The Locals makes you a staff member, therefore disqualifying you from the contest.

  25. XplayGamer
    • A fictional animated character=  Dobby from Harry Potter movies

    • A character from any other BioWare game= Liara from mass effect, cause we all love alien subduction’s

    • A Star Wars character= Boss Nass

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff – Frawlz, because everyone here loves to have Frawlz in your mouth :p haha

  26. IcarusAbides

    A fictional animated character
    Marvin The Martian (The Muscle of the team obviously)

    A character from any other BioWare game
    Morrigan from Dragon Age for the erm Assets she brings to the team

    A Star Wars character
    Gonk Droid (Fill it up with ammo and supplies and have it follow you across any battlefield like the Luggage from The Colour Of Magic, also it’s pretty useful as Instant Cover for Shep)

    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Dan – Every team needs a British voice to issue commands and narrate the battle. And who doesn’t need a former Captain on the team.

  27. Fisherman

    Cory said

    Fisherman said

    Not entering this one as I already have one of these babies, but as noted before, it is bad ass. A prize well-worth winning.


    I’m pretty sure being a co-host on The Locals makes you a staff member, therefore disqualifying you from the contest.

    Well then I’ll double-not-enter! Does that qualify me for double-disqualification? Which is qualification? What is happening … to my brain …

  28. Safado

    Fictional Character – Po the Dragon Warrior (Kung Fu Panda). Reason: Skadoosh!

    A character from any other BioWare game: Kurt Hectic from MDK2… just because I liked that game.

    A star wars character: Padme. She has proven she knows how to handle a pistol (hey-oh!) and she’s the backup plan to multiply and replenish the earth.

    Member of BRB staff – Definitely Dave. Not only does he know his shiz about guns, but he’s got quite the collection too. He brings the fire power.

  29. ze_silent_killer

    Ok here goes:

    Fictional Character: Goku I mean come on this guy has energy literally coming out of his hands, you’ve seen enemies burned by incendiary ammo but you’ve never seen anything until you’ve seen Goku fry geth with his bare hands.

    Other Bioware Character: This might be a bit controversial but I know Joker is an amazing pilot, but who flew us out of Taris and can quite clearly take care of himself at FTL speeds? Carth that’s motherfuckin who! (beg your pardon, I get excited whenever KOTOR is mentioned)

    Star Wars Character and BRB Staff Member: These two come as a combo. First off you gotta take Princess Leia. On this ship you’re gonna get lonely and now I n’t know about you but I don’t want Goku touching me with those hands that could fry me at any second. Instead I go for the princess (Awesome!) but she’s not just eye candy, she seduces the enemy to get close and allows the next quad member to strike (ok technically she is just eye candy).

    When the princess brings the enemy in close I use my secret weapon… Jon (YAMSTER!!!).Quick as a flash mm sottish comrade hikes up his kilt and shocks the enemy into a heart attack with the site of what is/isn’t down there (thankfully I don’ttt know whats down there and never plan to find out, thats what Leia is for)

  30. DanC85

    • A fictional animated character: The Immortal Iron Fist, who once killed a dragon. Unarmed. That’s right, he punched a dragon to death.


    • A character from any other BioWare game: BioWare games are noted for having some of the most interesting and varied characters in gaming, and Jade Empire is no exception to that rule, including Sun Li the Glorious Strategist (whose plot twist puts the Revan reveal in KotOR to shame) and Black Whirlwind (who once stormed an entire fortress alone, naked, screaming his defiance into the night, whilst dead drunk), but my choice goes to the aptly named Kang the Mad who can be summed up with this quote “I am Kang the Mad. I make things explode, and I make things fly, and I’m very good at both. The things I fly tend to survive. The things I explode… not so much.”


    • A Star Wars character: Jedi Master Kit Fisto, not only does he have a awesome name and a winning smile, but he’s a complete badass, almost defeating the multi-limbed General Grievous , and held out 2nd longest when fighting Darth Sidious (Master Samuel L Windo being the one who outlived him)


    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff: Frawlz, have you seen female Krogan? We could trade him to the Krogans for help in the war effort, they’d never know the difference!


    Iron Fist and Kit Fisto kicking Husk ass, whilst Kang introduces the Reapers to the ancient Chinese art of “Getting-Blown-the-F-UP” and Frawlz…

    …Frawlz, um…

    …Well Frawlz, just remember, Krogan’s have 4 balls to cup.

  31. McSeagull

    • A fictional animated character
    I’d say for a fictional animated character the obvious choice would have to be Rapunzel from Tangled. Not only would her cast iron pan serve as a melee weapon when we ran out of thermal clips but of course we’d have a magical healing hair nurse on board. Plus, she’s been cooped up in a tower her whole life, I think a trip around the galaxy would be quite an experience for her.

    • A character from any other BioWare game
    For this choice I’d have to pick Doc out of marital obligations in SWTOR. He’d provide some nice sarcastic banter for the group and he knows his way around a blaster. Also, in the unfortunate event that Rapunzel’s hair was cut, we’d have an actual doctor to fall back on.

    • A Star Wars character*
    Obi Wan would be a pretty solid bet here. Although he gets his ass kicked by old guys who moonlight as evil wizards, you know that if it came down to it he could turn anyone into a multiple prothesis user, including but not limited to former apprentices who stray away from the light side.

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Fisherman would be my BRB staff of choice. Based on his podcasts, I know that he would always have some interstellar brew on hand. After a long day of reaper razing, I know I could use a solid IPA or porter. And you can’t forget that The Fisherman’s got a pretty good voice and could be our inebriated diplomat who I know we could also count on to decorate the Normandy with some sweet nerdy things (

    So to sum it up, magical healing properties of Rapunzel’s hair which she will trade for a tour of the galaxy, the old ball and chain husband who can make everyone laugh and stay alive through the miracle of kolto bombs, a master Jedi who can deal with mutiny amongst the ranks with his trusty lightsaber, and finally, a beer connoisseur who can liven up the industrial interior of the Normandy and bring some good old Davey Jones Locker stories for us to keep in mind so that we don’t make dumb mistakes that turn us into Reaper fodder.

  32. MaDCurrent

    • A fictional animated character
    Superman, i only hope there isn’t too much Kryptonite in our adventure
    • A character from any other BioWare game
    Jolee Bindo, to balance my renegade side
    • A Star Wars character
    Obi-Wan, if he were lying on a the side of a lava stream i could leave him, he would do the same.

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Yoshifett, only because i think he would have a blast being there.

  33. SolidJackal

    – Goku, come on who can take him on he is a beast
    – Wu the Lotus Blossom, we need someone to be sexy and deadly
    -chewbacca, he is an actually hairy beast!
    -Frawlz, he will beat any….off =D

  34. Tom The Guitar Guy

    A fictional animated character:

    Snarf, from Thundercats. Snarf provides comic relief in these desperate times. The “Jar Jar” of his universe, if you will.
    Half cat, half reptile, whole HERO.

    A character from any other BioWare game:

    The Rancor in the sewer in Knights of the Old Republic. We call him “Ranky”. He smells bad, yet his massive size and man-eating abilities come in handy.

    A Star Wars character:

    The “Two fighters against a Star Destroyer” Rebel from the Hoth briefing. His firm grasp of reality keeps the squad in check, reminding everyone of what is achievable and what is a suicide mission.

    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

    YoshiFett. His biotic power, “Denial”, allows the entire squad to cover their ears and watch the Reaper problem disappear before their very eyes. The very same power that was famously used to defend a series of terrible sci-fi prequels..

  35. FallenHeero

    A fictional animated character = freakazoid (because he randomly popped into my head and it may be nostalgia but he was awesome)

     A character from any other BioWare game= Oghren (because i just went on the dragon age list of characters and looked for a dwarf since i havent played any other bioware game) (although an elcor would be amazing if a character from another mass effect game counts)

     A Star Wars character= An Ewok (they can take down super soldier stormtroopers with rocks and stuff so they must be invincible)

     A member of the Big Red Barrel staff – Frawlz (because in this set of characters he would be the normal one)

  36. krm266

    A fictional animated character
    Goku from Dragonball Z– He will be the main offensive force on the squad using a spirit bomb to take out a considerable amount of the reaper fleet and cleaning up with some kamehamehas. This is going to take him a good 20-30 episodes to charge up the spirit bomb and an additional 3-5 episodes to actually fire the thing.

    A character from any other BioWare game
    Zevran Arainai from dragon age – Zevran will be the distraction. Let’s face it, it’s not below Zevran’s capacity to seduce sentient machine warships. By sleeping with as many reapers as possible he’ll buy Goku the time he needs to gather energy for the spirit bomb.

    A Star Wars character*
    The Emperor – The Emperor will be able to provide death stars in the fight against the reapers. Everyone knows death stars are the ultimate weapon against reapers. This is because reapers are far too big they can’t get into the death stars trench and find the space station’s ridiculous design flaw of a 2m exhaust port that when struck with proton torpedoes will destroy the death star.

    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Jon – We’re going to need someone to document the whole event and publish it into a book to spam his twitter feed with. Title of the book has already been chosen “Taking Back Earth – 48 hours of Persistence, Protheans and Pizza”.

  37. Illusionary

    Animated character: Buzz Lightyear – perfectly equipped for space and, as he’s been to infinity (and beyond!), taking the fight to wherever the Reapers may be should be an easy task.

    Bioware character: Minsc (Baldur’s Gate) – an heroic attitide to inspire the rest of the crew. Plus, Boo can ensure that the Commander’s Space Hamster doesn’t get lonely.

    Star Wars character: Boba Fett – bounty hunters have to be resourceful and creative in how they operate. A jetpack can never be a bad thing, either!

    Staff member: Dan – invaluable command experience as a former Captain.

  38. Monkeyspunk

    • A fictional animated character

    • Captain Planet – Because if we’re taking back earth, who better than Captain F***ing Planet!!!  And if all else fails, his lectures to the Reapers on the dangers of their careless treatment of mother earth will probably cause at least half of them to self destruct.

    • A character from any other BioWare game

    • Dr. Fluke Hawkins – Being a mad scientist gets him immediate points, I mean the dude flies around in a dog shaped spaceship called the Jim Dandy.  At the very least he can zip around the reapers, and while they’re busy staring and going “what the fuuuuu….” the Normandy can blow them straight to hell.

    • A Star Wars character

    • Darth Nihl – Because sometimes you just need someone on your team who can choke a bitch and bifurcate them at the same time…lack of morality may cause tensions with Captain Planet.

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

    • Rothbart – His noisemakers and ability to draw great ire with them would make him a great addition, may draw the wrath of Nihl and lead to a bitch being choked.
  39. McNally

    A fictional animated character:
    Green Lantern. A space-cop wit “the most powerful weapon in the universe” seems well suited for large scale space battles and he would also be able to handle working with other races for the greatest good.

    • A character from any other BioWare game
    Anders from Dragon Age Orgins and DA 2. Having a healer ( or a cleric, if you will) would probably be a good idea. Having someone who could use magic offensively as well would be good because there shouldn’t be any defenses against it in the ME universe. As an added benefit, he likes cats….

    • A Star Wars character*
    Darth Revan from KotOR. He’s got crazy force powers, can train is pretty much any star wars weaponry, is a great leader which would make him an invaluable second in command. Also, he’s willing to make the hard decisions for the greatest good.

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Jitterbug. Everyone should have someone at their side willing to tell them when what they’re doing is stupid or idiotic or crazy or dangerous or wouldn’t fit with the story or is just unpleasant to his sensibilities. He would be my trusted advisor/strategist.

  40. L0rdEnglish

    Fictional Character: Green Arrow, for both the hilarity of watching him be useless in combat (or maybe he has future arrows?). He also seems like a pretty cool guy to talk to.


    Bioware Game: Sonic the Hedgehog. Because every time I commence in dialog with him there would be an option that would just be “You’re a Hedgehog! Hedgehogs can’t <whatever we are doing> ” and I’d keep doing this, making him madder and madder until he exploded with rage and turned on us or did something interesting. This would make lots of drama, and as we all know space operas like mass effect are all about drama.


    Star wars Character: Jar Jar. Who elese am I gonna sacrifice on the scuicide mission?


    BRB staff: Jon. I feel his accent would fit in rather nicely with all the other exotic sounds coming out of my various squadmates.

  41. Whopper17

    A fictional animated character
    Courage The Cowardly Dog. The things he does for love.
    A character from any other BioWare game
    Dawn Star from Jade Empire. Because reasons… Illicit reasons…
    A Star Wars character
    Anakin Skywalker. I’ll make sure he doesn’s survive this time.
    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Yoshifett. Designated Yeoman.

  42. MacGyver

    Fictional Animated Charater – Invader Zim: can build weapons of awesome destructive power and with his help ‘clean, lemony-fresh victory shall be mine!’ Wanting earth and/or it’s destruction for himself his idiotic determination will at very least be a fly in the reapers ointment while the others dish out some pain!

    Bioware character – Morrigan: she’s stupidly powerful, she’s hot, she’s bad ass and you know she’ll make for a hell of a paramour story line 😉 While others take cover she will be dealing some up-close-and-personal damage to the repears.

    Star Wars character – R2-D2: Trying not to go for the obvious choice of droid but after careful deliberation… R2 is The S**T! He can talk to almost any ship/computer, make running repairs on the Normandy (will be like Joker’s right hand droid). His beeps and squeaks also provide endless amusement. The ability to talk to and manipulate computer based systems wil undoubtably be an essential skill when battling the reapers.

    BRB staff member – Jon Brady: Like me, collects a never ending mountain of stuff, kitting him out with a plethera of things that can be sticky-taped to a gun/ship/train in any number of combinations in order to overcome any and every situation imaginable. Plus, he’s Scottish… there should be more Scottish people in games… maybe.

    The greatest aspect of this team may be the inevitable duo of Zim and R2, with R2 taking the place if the rather awesome, but dim, Gir. Only diffirence being, R2 dont take s**t from no one.

  43. DRoy

    Fictional Character: Rand al’Thor
    He has balefire and the True Source… By extension we also get the Asha’man, an army of Aiel, Mat & Perrin… Really? I could sit on the couch and wait for humanity to rebuild itself and Bioware to come up with Mass Effect 4.

    Bioware Character: Kang the Mad
    He invents stuff… most of the world will be gone and he can make my vision of perfection come into reality. Plus he’s insane which will be funny.

    Star Wars Character: Bale Organa
    If by some odd chance my flying creation wielding a balefire spewing Rand al’Thor happens to fail… I know that Bale will flee from the scene even after watching children be murdered. *Mental note* stay near his shuttle at all costs.

    BRB Member: PacManPolarBear
    While my first thought was Frawlz, and his ability to nuke us all in case my perfect plan failed, I chose PacManPolarBear. Why you ask? Simple, T-shirts. Given the insane amount of shirts the man wears on a regular basis, I know that he will never fall in battle. In effect his simple clothing will in result in a +1,000,000% increase to his shield.

  44. MrChupathingy

    Fictional Animated character:
    Jack Jack from the Incredibles

    Bioware character:
    Flemeth, Morrigan’s Mother from Dragon Age Origins

    Star Wars character:

    Big Red Barrel member:

    My theme for this party configuration: Insanely powerful creatures in deceptive guises. (Yoshifett’s powers are grammar, vocabulary, and resilence to defend the Star Wars prequels to inhuman limits)

  45. farko

    A fictional animated character:
    Buzz Lightyear. A decorated space cadet, no man in the core knows half as much as him. He has contacts in the seedy underworld of the universe, And he knows how to get what he wants. Plus he can glide. WITH STYLE!

    A character from any other BioWare game
    Sovereign the reaper. After being defeated by the heroes previously, Sovereign was left dead. Until a mad science experiment went wrong and put Jokers brain inside the ship! Now Joker is the reaper ship, And acts as the crews Pilot/ship/wacky comic relief. He would also have sweet “ship relations” with EDI.

    A Star Wars character
    Boba Fett. This does not even need to be discussed. The universes greatest bounty hunter joins you in your quest to defeat the reapers, As he now has a burning hatred for anything that is giant and has tentacles or tentacle like appendages for obvious reasons.

    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Dan. He would be the captain. Given the nickname “Captain Average” in space badass academy, Due to his excessively un-average nature it was quite ironic. He would be the charmer, The sweet talker, the negotiator of the group. His silky smooth British tones would bend the universe into submission. Failing that his team or a tactical orbital strike.

  46. Farko

    No idea why I popped up as guest there…

  47. amazinglover

    • A fictional animated character
    Duck Dogers need a true leader to see us thru the tough times.
    • A character from any other BioWare game
    HK-47 for some killing.
    • A Star Wars character*
    Mace Windu Samuel L motherfucking Jackson nuff said
    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff
    Jitterbug wing man for banging alien chicks or men if that’s his preference not judging.

  48. GuNreV

    A Fictional Animated Character:
    Emiya Kiritsugu (Fate/Extra (Fate/Stay Night))
    Every Crew Needs Someone Who Gets The Job Done, No Matter The Cost, The Need of The Many Far Outweights the Needs of the Few. His Expertise in Infiltration, Assasination, and as a Tactical Adviser Would Be Indispensable for Any Captain in a Battle for Survival.

    A Star Wars Character:
    Bastila Shan (Star Wars Knights of The Old Republic)
    What Better way To Destroy Giant Sentient Machines Than with Coordinated Attacks From All the Fleets in the Known UNIVERSE!?Battle Meditation?HELL YEAH!

    • A Character From Any Other BioWare Game:
    Leliana (Dragon Age: Origins)
    The Crew Will Need Someone To Fill The Mead Hall With Applause After The Victory, and Along With Kiritsugu. Espionage, Sabotage and Assasination of Targets Are All Covered. Music and War Are Connected. Macross Anyone?

    • A Member of The Big Red Barrel Staff:
    8 Bit! (8bitBass)
    All His Time With Phantasy Star HAS GIVEN HIM THE POWER, to drive masses and become a Master Tactician, and Grind The Hell Out of Those Planets For Resources and Weapon Upgrades. His Carisma Would Gather Everyone With One Goal, Galaxy Needs A RPG Player With A Wife!

  49. VeritableHer

    1. Cheetara (from Thundercats). Can you imagine her loyalty quest? Purrr. Plus, she fights and is used to saving others from bad situations.

    2. Max (from MDK2). He is a dog with six legs that smokes cigars and carries guns. Yes, please!

    3. Yoda (from Lego Star Wars). Not only can he fight, but you don’t have to hear his backwards talking. Bonus: if he dies then you just lose some chips before he reappears in a flashing state that makes him invulnerable for a short time.

    4. YoshiFett. He is used to wrangling kids to pay attention and stay focused in class. Plus, he’s part bounty hunter. Did I mention he’s a teacher?

    Thanks for the contest!

  50. VeritableHero

    Totally had a typo in the name of my previous post. Should be VeritableHero.


    Sorry, guys!

  51. maddogg

    A fictional animated character
    Homer simpson
    A character from any other BioWare game
    Carth Onasi (Knights of the old republic)
    A Star Wars character
    Wedge Antilles
    A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

  52. PortTech

    A Fictional Animated Character:
    Ahsoka Tano
    Say what you want about the Jedi Padawan that is sooner or later destined to somehow disappear mysteriously from existence, never to even be mentioned in the movies, this little spitfire is a bad-ass that can more than handle herself,

    A Character From Another Bioware Game:
    Blizz (Jawa Bounty Hunter Companion From SWTOR)
    This little guy is resourceful, good with building things, and not bad with a weapon either. You need someone who can scavenge parts to upgrade your weapons he is your guy, and he is short enough to do a sneak attack nut punch.

    A Star Wars Character:
    Lando Calrissian
    He’s a smooth talking ladies man that can talk his way out of just about any situation, and if he can’t talk his way out, he’s not afraid to fight his way out either. He also always seems to have an endless stash of Colt 45 malt liquor, in case your get thirsty.

    A Member of the Big Red Barrel Straff:
    He,is the key member of the team because he would probably be the first to tell you that Mass Effect was originally slated to be the next old republic game, but was changed at the last minute because the powers that be wanted the next old republic game to be an MMO, so they made a few tweaks and changed a few names and BAM, Mass Effect was born. The only thing that might derail YoshiFett from being a productive member of the team is he might be a little distracting to the rest of the team, constantly geeking out and asking them questions about other people in the Star Wars Universe.

  53. Mearnsonator

    1. Allstar Seaworthy (Snorks) – You won’t think it’s stupid when you finally land on a fully water planet (core and all) and he’s able to win that intergalactic underwater pole vaulting competition.

    2. Mako (SWToR) – Probably the closest thing I’m going to get to Miranda to squirm around on my lap in my private quarters… and she’d totally feed my fish.

    3. Lando Calrissian – Billy Dee Williams. The End.

    4. Rothbart – Have to take someone actually willing to do the work.

  54. NeoMax2k

    • A fictional animated character

    Danger Mouse – Cause I need an Infiltrator and you can never go wrong with someone who wears an eye patch.

    • A character from any other BioWare game

    Kurt Hectic since every other Bioware character I can think of is also a Star Wars character. And he already comes with an awesome armor and integrated weapons, so that saves me a lot of credits.

    • A Star Wars character*

    Darth Traya aka Kreia from Kotor II Cause I’m a perv and dig old hags. She wields three Lightsabers at once. So I’m sure if I’m the first one to turn her to the light side she knows how to handle mine! ;P

    • A member of the Big Red Barrel staff

    Tim because he survived “I AM ALIVE”!

    Thanks for the chance to win!

  55. MRAHSchnoz

    Fictional Character:
    Scott Pilgrim. His fight for his love proves that he will never give up. And he’s a total badass that knows a lot about gaming, music, movies, etc. which makes him entertaining to be around.

    Bioware Game:
    Hk-47. The assassin droid that just won’t die, has a great shot, and is a loyal soldier. He survived through multiple games, and can kill anybody that i wish, without question.

    Star Wars:
    Revan (Pre the TOR MMO when they made him get owned by players everyday). Revan is a beast of a force user and he would replicate the biotics in Mass Effect. Not only was he one of the greatest jedi that ever lived, he has already saved the galaxy before.

    BRB Staff:
    PacManPolarBear. Nuff said

    Plan of Attack:
    Scott pilgrim will play his bass guitar (badly) which will stun the enemies, followed by Revan who will do some crazy jedi tricks, killing or maiming the enemies, followed by me and Hk-47 opening fire on the remaining enemies. Meanwhile PMPB will be in the background organizing groups of rabid gamers to our cause, creating an army to battle the reapers.

  56. *****ENTRIES NOW CLOSED*****

    Thanks to everyone that entered. I will be finalising a decision and will announce the winners as soon as I can. There are a lot of responses and a lot of good ones. So, I think it will take me a while longer to go through than I first thought. I will announce the winners tomorrow (This is NOT influenced by me playing entirely too much Mass Effect 3 this weekend. HONEST. = )

  57. I put the following up on the forums yesterday, but just realised that it did not appear on the front page. now it does = )

    And the winners are…barrel roll please…

    The Grand Prize goes to ***DeadpoolSkye*** I did know Samurai Jack and he was a bad arse, HK47 was almost the only correct answer, I liked your explanation for including Han Solo and Yoshifett seemed suitably Star Warsy and who doesn’t need a hipster on the team.

    Second Prize goes to ***Richie boy*** mainly as I really liked the visual image of these four team members together and thought they would work well as a team. You didn’t mention that Kenny is practically immortal, but this helped sway my final decision anyway. toothysmile

    Honourable mentions goes to Kim266, Farko, Veritable Hero, NeoMax 2K and MRAHchnoz. Good answers that came close.

    Thanks to all that entered. Winners PM or email me your address and I will get your prizes on their way as soon as possible. bigsmilebarreltoothysmile

  58. XplayGamer

    Tim said
    *****ENTRIES NOW CLOSED*****

    Thanks to everyone that entered. I will be finalising a decision and will announce the winners as soon as I can. There are a lot of responses and a lot of good ones. So, I think it will take me a while longer to go through than I first thought. I will announce the winners tomorrow (This is NOT influenced by me playing entirely too much Mass Effect 3 this weekend. HONEST. = )

    And the winners are…barrel roll please…

    The Grand Prize goes to DeadpoolSkye. I did know Samurai Jack and he was a bad arse, HK47 was almost the only correct answer, I liked your explanation for including Han Solo and Yoshifett seemed suitably Star Warsy and who doesn’t need a hipster on the team.

    Second Prize goes to Richie boy mainly as I really liked the visual image of these four team members together and thought they would work well as a team. You didn’t mention that Kenny is practically immortal, but this helped sway my final decision anyway. toothysmile

    Honourable mentions goes to Kim266, Farko, Veritable Hero, NeoMax 2K and MRAHchnoz. Good answers that came close.

    Thanks to all that entered. Winners PM or email me your address and I will get your prizes on their way as soon as possible. bigsmilebarreltoothysmile

    Congrats DeadpoolSkye and Richie Boy. Went back to look at them and they were great. 5 red barrels out of 5 barrel

  59. DeadpoolSkye

    I am sooooo happy. I needed more stuff to add to my Mass Effect…well…I suppose it’s becoming a shrine now. I managed to snag the stand up display and oversized box art of ME3 from my local GameStop. This will be the perfect center piece. 


    Love you guys. But especially Yoshi, because your hipster attack power probably just won me this contest.

  60. richieboy


    *does a little dance*

    Now I just need to negotiate with the missus for living room space to display it!

  61. Ploogle



    Curse my inactivity.

  62. MRAHSchnoz

    Dang. Oh well it I tried. Congrats to the winners, your answers were great!

  63. monkeeboyy

    Made a post.  Looked at the date.  Edited the post to save myself from embarrassment.

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